Thursday, April 26, 2012

A walk across the Zombieland


Here is the link of my new story published in the online magazine Sprout
http://sproutm.yolasite.com/a-walk-across-the-zombieland-vi.php

Or read here

                                            A walk across the Zombieland
      By Anand Prakash

            As usual, he woke up late.
How would he cross the Zombieland? A thought surfaced in his mind.
Alone.
            Still he has to go.
He hastily went over his routine things. After taking couple of bites of a denatured chicken egg sandwiched, he gulped a full glass of strawberry colored liquid. He packed up seasoned turkey legs and rice for his lunch before stepping out of his apartment. It supposed to be snowing out but thanks to global warming the Sun almost made him sweat in early January. He didn’t mind as long as the Sun disperses menacing grey clouds for one thing he didn’t like forced gloominess.
            Somewhere an engine squealed when force-started while another one fluttered when accelerated. Still, there was no sign of a vehicle on the main road.  He knew where he would find the vehicles, so he didn’t care. As he paced on the sidewalk with alternating red and white concrete blocks, he saw a lonely red car parked in front of a recently closed bank branch. In the car, he noticed a female body with eyes closed and strapped with seat belt in sunbathing posture. Did somebody strap her here? Or she stayed on her free will? When nothing supported either of his hypotheses, he moved on the sidewalk.
            On either side of the sidewalk, only apartment complexes stayed. People, drinks, books, cell phones, and everything from the porch of these apartments had disappeared long ago. Even the windows which let out inappropriate human cries during afternoons remained barren and silent. Once again and almost addictively, he studiously relished the power of the pop culture in the names of the apartment complexes: Puss(y) in the Boot, The Liquor Dozzen, The Crocodile Undie, Confessions of an Alcoholic, etc. A solid and soulful humor never dies, he smiled as he thought. Or was he biased of their memories? He debated over it many times on these longs walks.
            An offensive smell broke his chain of thoughts once again. He circumvented the dumpster. Still in front of him, lay the half opened blue colored cookie box, yellowed wrappers of some cheese, brown broken glass with a name synonymous with beer, and a squished can with few micro-liters of brown water. The scene brought the memories of a developed and littering civilization returned and almost bald cross-roads with sketches of tires supported his observation of such a civilization. After habitually waiting for the pedestrian sign, he crossed the road.
An advertising board in front of an administrative building announced the timing and ticket price of some moustache-less comedian with a serious face. Many red buildings followed. These buildings stood like a group of spooky creatures which had scared and belittled him many a times. He ran past these buildings and reached to the corner of a red building where three broken bicycles were tethered to the bicycle stand. There he turned right and walked upward on a slope. Because of the slant, the lit windows of library gave him a monstrous look as if demanding the reason for his long absence. As he passed the closed library, he promised to come here more often in future.
At the corner of the library, he took a left turn. There was more than one reason for taking this turn. First, he had no interest in meeting caffeine zombies coming from a chain coffee shop which had chained the population since time immemorial. Also by taking this route, he would miss the food shops with similar sign and symbol across the states or borders. These food shops promised to serve the same quality of food across the county. Is that possible? He had always asked.
            Straying away from a route comes with a cost. Though chances were rare in this season but he could still have a chance encounter with some liquor vampires. The liquor places had invited students on the first day of school, last day of school, and days in between by giving one reason (this is your first day of school, come and celebrate with us) or others (this is your last day of school, come and celebrate with us, etc.). During those days, he didn’t know whether he celebrated but he remembered eating canned food and bagels. “Eat bagel here.” He read the sign next to the town’s official tattoo shop. The sign became meaningful only when he located a Bagel shop next to the tattoo shop.
Couple more shops later, his eyes landed on the church timings. Is the church still open even in absence of majority of students? He wondered. Once again he questioned the meaning of a religion and a mess and once again his mind considered him intellectually incapable of understanding of such high concepts. But the rules and regulations of Oyster city sheriff department were easy on his mind. The black and white cars parked there to save the remaining public, may be from encroaching madness or confusing loneliness or both.
Satisfied, he crushed a twig on the sidewalk. An engine made a clicky-clacky sound as if it had some starting problem. He waited for the car which didn’t appear. The yellow grass on the left of the sidewalk reminded him of his childhood jaundice. To avoid that, he eyed on the flyers hanging on the silver colored electric poles. All of these colorful flyers wished something good – good like have a good year, have a good winter, and have a good …whatever… Even before he gets out of this wishful yet highly improbable ‘promise’ trap, the dried trees stood like black bony ghosts in his proximity. He hurried past figment of his horrific imagination.
 What really made him smile were the flags. The flailing university, town, and state flags, one above another, hung on a longest silver pipe he had seen. It seemed that the loneliness had suck up all the enthusiastic wind from this area.  The red and white concrete blocks of the sidewalk culminated in the spiral shape of a DNA double helix, hereditary material of living organisms. Standing at the one strand of the DNA helix, he checked for vehicles in the parking lot on the far right. The cars and trucks of different colors, not necessarily the red color, were immobilized there. Still standing there, he admired the red colored bricks of the three storied building in front of him. By the time he will come out of this building, everything would be dark and ominous. The students called this building as Department of Biology.
Obediently, he followed the spiral strand of the DNA helix as if it was one of the duty of a biology graduate student. Next to the gate, he swiped the card, pulled the doors, and walked on a dull red rug. The clean air filled up his lungs and he coughed. He was well aware what he would find here: people talking about research. Strange though it seems but here all the talks start with research and ends with research. The research talks had seeped everywhere: in conference rooms, labs, and even restrooms. Some people even claimed that research is life and life is research but he couldn’t find all the answers in research. For him, life has become series of painfully monotonous emotions.
 And he was ready to face new emotions. He was ready to face new faces which do other things he had almost forgotten to do: talk about games and ships (relationships, friendships, ownerships, etc.), sobering up only to get high again, filling up the library during Sundays and exams, talking to their gadgets, running all around the campus irrespective of day and night, crying for marks, and freaking out on presentations, and faces in general which spans all the possible human emotions.
He had to wait. He knew that.
This place turns into a Zombieland twice a year, at least, one during summer and one during winter.
And till then, he had to walk across the Zombieland.
Daily.
Alone.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Grad School Chronicles- Research is 'pretty much' life and vice-versa- IV

15. There is big difference between Wisdom and Knowledge. It is like saying don't do it because you know you messed it up rather than don't do it because you read it somewhere else.

16. The world would have been a better place if we have gotten 50% results after working with 50% commitment.

17. Nobody is perfect, even the DNA polymerase makes mistake.

18. Nothing is free, even the Oxygen generate oxygen free radicals to kill or mutate the cells.

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Grad School Chronicles- Research is 'pretty much' life and vice-versa- III

10. Always remember what things you are good at (even pouring wine or water counts), especially during bad days.

11. Tortoise (slow and steady wins the race) principle applies: Research and life, both, are marathons.

12. Control the bidirectional(lab life to life)seepage of stress which is another way of saying keep both life separate. Nothing seeps better than the stress.

13. Pain is the tuition fee you pay to life teacher in order to learn. More you will avoid it,more it will come to haunt you. Do you still want to learn?

14. Never lose trust in your samples. They are as great as you are.

15. Take credit for your messed up experiments because then only you will be better messed up.

Monday, February 20, 2012

A Eulogy for a Grad Student

Here is the link of my new story published in the online magazine Crack the Spine

http://www.crackthespine.com/2012/02/crack-spine-issue-twelve.html

or read here


A Eulogy for a Grad Student
By Anand Prakash

How can we forget him who has spent all of his life working, working and working on his experiments? But one can always ask: Isn’t a graduate student supposed to work like that? Even though I’ve not seen anybody dying from research work but if one person who will die working, I was pretty confident, he should be the one. But how can I predict the future: I am no God.
He walked from his apartment to department. Every single day. He had a superstition that he needed the brownish hot water to streamline his research thoughts at the start of the day. He stopped to drink some amount of brownish hot water at a local shop to kill of his slumber. Every single day. He waited for the pedestrian signals to cross the road as he walked to his department. He couldn’t afford carelessness else his research would suffer. When he put his white skin on, nothing except experiments crossed his mind.
The experiments were his only obsession. “A graduate student must have perseverance and patience to win over any type of experiments,” he had told me during one of our evening brownish hot water sessions. Smile lit his face bright with a recent win. So far he was never failed in a single experiment.
But not all experiments are the same. A failed experiment brought wavy tension lines to his otherwise shiny forehead. “There is something wrong with my commitment to my experiments,” he expressed his guilt before he continued again, “but tomorrow, I will work on the experiment with more patience and perseverance. It will work, for sure.” Day passed but his answer stayed the same and so were the wavy tension lines on his forehead. I was fed up with his optimistic attitude. One day while sipping the brownish hot water, I said, “But you are working on this for over a semester.” “So what? Some experiment tests your limits before they even show a little appreciation in terms of results,” he answered a little agitated. “But some experiment can take your life,” I advised, “and this one experiment you are working this long could be one of this kind.” He gave me a wry smile as if I don’t know anything about the research.
A week before he died working on this suicidal experiment, I suggested him to change his focus to some other experiment. “There are so many reasons for an experiment to not work. Sometimes, it is so hard to speculate upon,” I rationalized. “Why can’t we understand that?” he admonished. “No offense but it’s possible your research plan could be defective…” Unconvinced, he stared at me. I continued, sipping the brownish hot water, “Your sample size of volume may be improper for analysis or may be your technique is flawed or…God knows what?” “God don’t know anything…and there is not God in grad school.” This digressing remark suggested his wounded ego. Thus, I reverted to the standard, uplifting, ego-boosting reply, “You need to wait for the technology to catch up to your imagination.” Unimpressed, he said, “You don’t need technology; all you need imagination to win over this experiment.”
Look where his imagination took him.
But no amount of imagination can bring him back.
So, today, as we mourn in his memory and rejoice in his stubbornness, let’s consider the contribution of such a research worker to our department apart from his research work. “To know our limits” I would say otherwise one of us would fall prey to such an experiment. There are certain things, he used to say, that one should learn from other’s examples. But sadly for him, he was the example for this lesson.
Amen.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Grad School Chronicles- Research is 'pretty much' life and vice-versa- II

5. Be happy with whatever results you got. You deserve it just like the sadness which eats up your happy mood. That's why they say- take nothing granted.

6. Don't ask to a grad student: When are you completing your degree? Please come up with better questions.

7. Make sure you know the difference between herd vaccination (which is meant to protect one from infectious disease) and herd stupidity (...fill in the blank...).

8. Next day will be a better day. This advice might not be true all the time but it teaches you to look forward.

9. Look at the colors of other people's clothes, find hair style you like, relish those unknown smiles, smell the air even when it is really cold outside, laugh out loud when you slip on sleets despite the pain - such is the power of the present. Soon you start to lose focus from the haunting past.

Monday, February 13, 2012

Grad School Chronicles- Research is 'pretty much' life and vice-versa

1. More you think you can do, without thinking, more you will mess things up. So take time before messing things up because before you know you would find that you have messed up things significantly well and sometimes beyond reforms.

2. Nothing is easier. One moment you think something is easier, next moment it will come to haunt you. Keep you lips stitched and your brain, if you can.

3. One can get over a single worry but a worry compounded by miscellaneous worries is enough to make one sick at the end of day, many times from oneself.

4. Solutions and problems are inside you. Don't go any far before doing this exercise.

5. Try not to project mainly blame others for what could be your fault. It is not easy because it is a defense mechanism (Freud).

6. Everyone is a superhero, otherwise, how could one explain thights, leggings and innerwears.

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Z-composition: The Stockholm Syndrome

To read my flash fiction add this link to your browser:
http://zombiepoetry.com/flash-fiction.html

The Stockholm Syndrome (as published in Z-composition)


The Stockholm Syndrome

Once upon a time a Heart committed a grave crime. Heart didn’t follow the diet rules and suffered from a stroke endangering the life of other members of family, the Body. Somehow the danger was averted; Heart pumped though scantily. Brain explained the scenario to Heart; Heart didn’t listen. So, Brain had to arrest Heart. “Love of eating can’t be a crime,” Heart yelled. “It’s not about eating; it’s about eating right,” Brain answered in anger. But Heart insisted for freedom cream-pie. Every vessel in Heart was narrow. Heart suffocated. This problem can only be treated by cream-pie, Heart was sure. Brain was well aware of Heart’s self-hurting behavior. Instead of being angry at Heart, Brain knew future of family lies in welfare of Heart; Brain took great care of Heart.
Brain fed Heart very well. For breakfast, Brain fed him Stockholm bagels and Syndrome marmalade jelly. Heart’s lunch consisted of empowerment green salad with an uplifting rice-pudding as a desert. During the snack time, Heart was given a make-sense organic tea and a big sympathy cookie with smiley chocolate chunks. The dinner menu included +1 spiced exotic dish and happiness fat-free ice cream. Such was the effect of this genial reaction that Heart almost forgot about the freedom cream-pie. In addition to good care, Brain told Heart many stories from salt-less mythology where hero who doesn’t eat salt saves the population from addiction of Salt demon, Mocha monster, Cheese cruel etc. Other members of family (Others) suspected some kind of moral in these stories. How could Others be so impressionable and stupid? These are just absurd stories to put kids to sleep. Heart thought and laughed. Heart didn’t want to be influenced with anything Brain said because Brain had arrested Heart. Brain was happy that at least these stories made Heart laugh. Brain still kept on feeding Heart with such stories. Also Brain was sure that stories will work with proper diet and proper environment. Brain instructed Others to make Heart cheerful. Heart’s condition constantly improved. One day, Heart couldn’t see deteriorating condition of family members and pumped good amount of blood to others. Brain knew the stories did their subconscious magic. With time Heart’s condition improved but Heart was still far from complete recovery. Brain started engaging Heart with ‘hello-how-are-you’ type conversations.
On one odd day, Heart dreamed. The imprisoned Heart saw another Heart outside and was instantly hypnotized. In the other Heart, the imprisoned Heart saw all those flavors found at yoghurt shops: the vanilla affection, cookie care, tart knowledge, and strawberry concern. The other Heart who sat on the driving seat of a truck filled with the freedom cream-pies waved at imprisoned Heart. The imprisoned Heart wanted to go out and say to the other Heart, “You pulsate beautifully.” The imprisoned Heart looked for Brain; Brain was busy decoding some unconscious messages from dreams. No one else was there to hold the imprisoned Heart back. Still imprisoned Heart couldn’t get out. After waiting for long time in expectation, the other Heart drove away. Suddenly Heart woke up, feeling alone in whole world. Heart yelled and sobbed. When Others asked, Heart said nothing.
Brain knew the reason of Heart’s sadness-Heart’s feeling for another Heart. For a moment, Brain thought of letting Heart go and follow the other Heart carrying the freedom cream-pies. But Brain knew that in the absence of Heart, family won’t be alive anymore. Also, Heart can’t handle a single bite of cream pie. Heart was still recovering from atherosclerosis, the worst disease to affect a Heart and the disease could spread to whole family. The name of disease brought memories of Heart’s turbulent past.
In the past, Heart devoured a lot of young cheeseburgers, relished pulpy ice-creams and enjoyed heavy corn diet. Heart smoked mentholated cigarettes with supermodels. Also, Heart enjoyed the company of ex.- the love-liquor. Heart drank so much that Liver, Heart’s friend, who previously had metabolized all the liquor and excess of fat, died from emotionless cirrhosis as a result of Heart’s irresponsibility. Sad and weary Heart lay down on a couch for a month. Heart grew fat. Though the life of family was saved by liver transplantation but Heart was imprisoned for not following the diet rules and putting the entire family at risk. The fat, angry and diseased Heart could only pump scantily leading to further deterioration of family’s health. Brain who supervised the imprisoned Heart started a different therapy the basis of Brain’s reading of The Stockholm syndrome. Brain took good care of Heart and fed him well.
As Brain reminisced about the past, Brain realized that freedom cream-pie will not bring freedom to Heart but instead demise to whole family. Thus Brain directed all of his attention to sad Heart. Sad Heart throbbed with a complex feeling of isolation, fear, loneliness and lack of freedom. Confused with dream, Heart asked to Brain, “Why I couldn’t get out?” It was Heart’s misfortune that this question turned out to be a multiple choice type. As per Brain, Heart’s choices were:

1. Heart wasn’t young anymore.
2. Heart was a responsible member of family.
3. Heart was suffering from atherosclerosis.
4. None of the above.

Anand Prakash is a Graduate student at Miami University, Oxford, Ohio. His fiction has appeared or forthcoming in Tiny Happy Journal, Perceptions Reflected Quarterly, and Crack the Spine. His writings can be found at http://gradstudentwriter.blogspot.com/